I am taking lessons from my dog Conner these days. Conner is forever hopeful. An Australian shepherd, Boxer, Staffordshire terrier, Dalmatian, and who knows what—Conner is an amalgamation of genes. He approaches life with endless hope. These days his walks are on the pebble, sand, and shell beach of Narragansett Bay in Rhode Island. He works the edge, where beach meets sea grass looking for good things to eat. He crouches down when he sees another dog—possible playmate? His ears perk up when Reed or I move from desk or chair toward the door—time for a walk? He is not bashful at asking for what he needs—a pat or an ear scratch.It takes attention to find hope these days. Hope is essential in our current world. These days I am embarrassed by how the US is represented in the world, how low the decorum of interchange has fallen, how many things I have worked for and supported over the years are being dismantled: clean environment, preserving choice over women’s bodies, health care reform, good education, etc. What is most difficult are the lies spoken as fact and the cruelty and absence of compassion. Patients come to clinic voicing anxiety about the current state of affairs.I listen to NPR less often these days and have started playing audio books during commutes to and from work. I pursued the suggested books shelf at the local library and stumbled across an audiobook by Brene Brown, MSW, PhD, a qualitative researcher from Texas who studies courage and hope. One of her most recent books, Braving the Wilderness, made several points that were good reminders for me. These ugly times provide:

• A call to move closer to each other, because people are hard to hate close up. I’ve learned this in my international work. My time in Russia and Palestine taught me that up close, people are people. Although both of these countries have been / are enemies of the US. Negative discourse continues between leaders, but on a granular level it disappears. Citizens want the same things everywhere: to love and be loved, and to go about their business of finding meaning in work and family. Surround yourself with community, preferably a diverse community. Move past stereotypes.

• A call to speak truth to bullshit. With the erosion of civility, it’s easy to stay quiet, hide in our ideological bunkers, or fit in rather than show up as our true selves and brave the wilderness of uncertainty and criticism, according to Dr. Brown. But be civil about it. In the past I’ve written letters to the editor, testified related to health care reform. These days I find myself doing this one on one. I give patients permission to be honest with themselves, honest with family or friends, and have the hard conversations.

• A call to control what you can and let go of the rest. This brings me back to the Serenity Prayer which I learned sometime in college.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage and willingness to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

The italics is my addition. I did not realize until I googled it for this post that it is the first stanza of a prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)  As an aside, Krista Tippett did a wonderful interview with David Brooks and EJ Dionne on Neibuhr, referring to him as Obama’s theologian.

• Finally, a call to find joy. Conner and his forever hopeful approach to life, very much in-the-moment is a good teacher. I have often thought of this as searching for delights, de-lights, the small lights that brighten a day. Finding the light in the current darkness and grayness. The extra-ordinary in the ordinary of every day.

Wishing you peace and courage as you keep stepping forward each day.

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